5 Tips for Preparing Children to Cope with Stress and Anxiety
Graduation season is here, and millions of students across the country are preparing to enter the workforce. However, a recent study focusing on the mental and emotional well-being of young people reveals that many may be ill-prepared for this next phase of life.
Conducted by the Mary Christie Institute in collaboration with the Healthy Minds Network, the American Association of Colleges and Universities (AAC&U), and the National Association of Colleges and Employers, the study focused on individuals between the ages of 22 and 28. It found that 51% of the participants reported needing help for mental health issues within the past year. Specifically, 43% reported they suffered from anxiety, while 31% experienced depression.
Adding to these concerning statistics, a significant number of respondents expressed dissatisfaction with their environments. Among the young professionals surveyed, 45% believed that their work environment had negatively impacted their mental health over the previous year. Furthermore, 39% felt that their college had not adequately prepared them for the emotional and behavioral challenges associated with transitioning into the workplace.
According to national recovery advocate David Magee, the current state of young people should come as no surprise.
"They have faced intense academic pressures and economic worries," says Magee, who is the author of the upcoming book Things Have Changed: What Every Parent (and Educator) Should Know About the Student Mental Health and Substance Misuse Crisis and the award-winning book Dear William: A Father's Memoir of Addiction, Recovery, Love, and Loss.
"They’ve been exposed to alcohol and drugs at an early age," Magee says. "They’ve consumed far too much social media. Their traditional support networks have been dismantled. They’ve absorbed a lot of stress and very little joy. Oh, and let’s not forget COVID-19."
Rather than being disheartened by the study's findings, the results should serve as a warning bell for parents to start preparing their children for the stress they will face in the workforce. Magee suggests thinking of it as strengthening a muscle that helps them cope with anxiety.
"Work and other aspects of adult life will bring stress," says Magee. "There will be anxiety. But if we get intentional about building emotional resilience in our children early, we’ll help improve the odds that they can cope with anxiety, get through stressful work situations and go on to build successful careers and lives."
Magee provides the following tips for parents:
1. Encourage children to face challenges. Instead of shielding them from stress or solving problems on their behalf, it is important for children to learn how to cope with anxiety by confronting life’s obstacles, such as demanding school projects or conflicts with friends. Engage in conversations about their emotions, creating a safe space for them to express their feelings. Show compassion and share personal stories of overcoming adversity, while also holding them accountable for their responsibilities.
2. Help them find sustainable sources of joy. Magee emphasizes that sustaining joy is a lifelong pursuit. Parents can assist by encouraging children to discover their passions and allowing them to choose their own path, rather than dictating it for them. Avoid assuming what brings them joy or telling them what they need. Instead, support them in investing time and energy into building strong connections and relationships, rather than spending excessive time on digital devices.
3. Delay the introduction of smartphones until at least eighth grade. Research has linked smartphone use among young people to various issues, including substance misuse, eating disorders, and sleep deprivation. The nonprofit organization Wait Until 8th advocates for waiting until children reach eighth grade before giving them smartphones. They highlight reasons such as the disruptive influence of smartphones on childhood, their addictive nature, negative effects on sleep and relationships, increased risks of anxiety, depression, cyberbullying, and distractions from academic pursuits. In short, smartphones do not contribute favorably to children's mental health.
4. Provide them with a toolbox for wellbeing and encourage its utilization. Even before reaching college age, children should learn healthy habits. This includes prioritizing sleep by ensuring they get at least eight hours of sleep each night (keeping smartphones out of their bedroom), promoting regular exercise such as brisk walks or runs to experience the positive impact of fresh air, movement, and endorphins, and fostering a connection to a higher purpose. While spirituality and faith are personal, they can be attained through practices like meditation, yoga, or a commitment to a meaningful cause.
"Believing in something greater than yourself provides a deep sense of meaning, purpose, and contented joy," said Magee.
5. Initiate open conversations on difficult topics such as substance misuse. Young people often turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of self-medication when facing anxiety or depression. It is important to recognize that substance misuse and addiction can occur in any family, regardless of appearances. Make it a priority to engage with your children during meals and activities, creating an environment where silence is not the norm, even if they appear to prefer it. Address subjects that you suspect they might be dealing with, such as eating disorders or substance misuse, without preaching or judging. Instead, ask open-ended questions and listen attentively for clues.
Understand that when young people mention anxiety, it can serve as a hint to explore the topic further. Ask questions like, "When do you usually experience anxiety?" or "How would you describe your anxiety?" to gain a better understanding of their experiences and thoughts on finding relief.
